You're...

That's why they call him "The Count"

You know that I am called the CountBecause I really love to ****I could sit and **** all daySometimes I get carried away

I **** slowly, slowly, slowly getting fasterOnce I've started ******* it's really hard to stopFaster, faster. It is so exciting!I could **** forever, **** until I drop

1! 2! 3! 4!1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4

I **** the spiders on the wall...I **** the cobwebs in the hall...I **** the candles on the shelf...When I'm alone, I **** myself!

I **** slowly, slowly, slowly getting fasterOnce I've started ******* it's really hard to stopFaster, faster. It is so exciting!I could **** forever, **** until I drop
I love ******* whatever the amount!This is the song of the Count!

Funny Sesame Street classic

This is a part of "Unnecessary Censorship" on the Jimmy Kimmel show.

Whoaa!

"C if for ****, that's good enough for me."

I earlier put a version with a stupid honk sound, this seems better.